I have been so scattered lately! No lie. I have been carelessly searching for God's will in my life. I mean that exactly.. Care-less. But, I have been searching. There are these moments when I pause and feel absolutely disappointed in myself. How I conduct myself, what I put my priorities in, and most of all, just trying to get a check list of things done in my life.
I realized when I was in England how often I went somewhere just to take photos.. and say- Oh, I have been there.. and I can prove it! But, time after time I forgot to enjoy the moment, the site I so badly needed to take a snap shot of, just so I could check it off a list. The times I just laid back, to see, hear and taste the environment around me, I couldn't help but smile, and thank God for a wonderful moment he blessed me with.
I wish I could do that every day, but so often something complicates that wonderfulness. There is decisions to be made, plans to work on, opportunities taken and opportunities missed.
I think I missed an opportunity in the past few months, but I am starting to understand more and more that maybe I was supposed to. It may have been a great opportunity, but, perhaps I am just disappointed it wasn't just another thing I could just check off my list.. and that is the ultimate reason I missed it. I didn't have pure intentions.
I am starting to rabble.