I was going to try and write poetry, but if you know anything about my week, that seems too ironic. So instead I am going to be confusing, yet bluntly honest. Well, to give you a major hint the soundtrack to my life right now, sappy and ridiculous as it may sound, would be ".. cause when a heart break, no it don't breakeven.."
I would love to ramble on convincing myself that I wasn't heart broken over some guy, but, I said I'd be honest. Yes. Yes, I am.
But this I do know, I didn't know whether to.. be angry, sad, laugh, or whine. But then I came to a moment right after everything seemed to hit where God said- Jodi, Hey, calm down. Take a deep breath, and..re- evaluate.
I am almost certain God told me to reevaluate my life in the seconds after my heart broke. So, I have been sitting eyes tired, but my head full for the last 5 hours thinking mid night about what this all means.
Then, it all flashed through my head.. memories. I had done this before, I had experienced this before. Heck, when I was in grade 10 I picked up kick boxing- why? Because I had a broken heart, and God said, move your emotions to something else. I did, and I fell in love with kickboxing for a time in my life... and peace came into my heart.
And then again, I had yet another heart break, and I took up reading.. I just read whatever books fascinated me, and strove to learn... and peace came into my heart.
I have to take moments to just be.. BE.. me.. just do all those things I never take time to do because honestly, I was always with some one else.. or thinking about something else.
I let my heart be sad for awhile.. Ecc. says for everything there is a season. I go through seasons. I come out of something hard, and I reclaim my identity, or try to rediscover part of me that I let fall to the side. And.. I write. I look forward to seeing more of you blog.