Proverbs 16:9

I have spent months thinking about my future. I had worries, mostly the idea death versus life kept coming into my thoughts. Not just the literal sense of life and death, but death as in the absence of really living, fully. And then I questioned what really living meant.
I grew into this person I was never actually sure I would be. Where I would go see the world, and really discover myself within it. I have only been in England for two months, and already I believe I will fall in love with the many apsects of culture, nature, history this nation has to offer. I want to see it all, if possible. Yet, I want to live it simply. I want to have a job I love, where I am settled in one home, with a family. Where I can love a husband and children. Where I can make homemade pies, make family traditions and curl up watching a movie.
So, I have declared five years of travel, at least, then the other part of my life. Cynically I think- how far will I get? But, this is my hope.
My hopes in discovering the world is that I might learn. Learn what other people are like, for we are all made in God's image. I want to learn about their practices, their way of living, and adapting a part of it for myself. Leaving England I have come out with a few traditions I would like to carry on in my life, even if I am not present in England.
I would also strive to make friends in other countries, calling them my brothers and sisters in Christ. Where I could love different ethnicities, and a better understanding of our differences, and build a bridge between our gapped lives.
Where there is tears, I want to help share a burden. Asking God to break my heart for what breaks his. And passing on some of my peace and restoration to a people who need it desperately.
I want to be awed. I want to smile, and cry from being overwhelmed at God's splendor. Whether that be sitting on a Mountain's peak, being surronded by his people, drinking tea in a cafe, or seeing architecture that makes me thank God for brilliant minds.
Then.. there would the solitude, yet, excitment of having a family. Of being part of two. Of understanding some one who, is all mine, well, and God's! And then my awe would come in the of my heart filling with warmth, security, and new memories meant to be shared. A servant like relationship, that is filled with laughter, tears and unconditional fondness.

But mostly... I want to be an ambassador of Christ. A missionary. Salt and Light of the world, wherever I am, moving or still. Using the gifts and talents God had bestowed upon me, for they are not my own doing. Ultimately, it's about Love. To share where it's needed. To receive it. And then, love God for that amazing love.